CONQUERING FEAR

When I was 11 years old I lived on a air base right outside of Tokyo Japan. On base there was a church that had the really high steeple on top of it. Next to the church was this really tall pine tree that jutted even over the top of the church.

Being afraid of heights I decided to climb that tree one day. It took me about 20 minutes to climb to almost the tip of the tree. I recall swaying in the wind and looking way down at the top of the steeple below me.

Suddenly I had this vision of me being swept off the tip of the tree at any moment. I froze for a moment before I decided that either I moved or I would truly die. My heart started pounding and my breathing labored as if I were giving birth.

I was giving birth. I was giving life to a very nasty thing called Fear.

I waited for the feelings inside me to pass. Slowly I then climbed back the way I had came, branch by branch until I was at a level that I felt safe and my fear passed away. I never forgot that day that I set out to conquer my fear of heights and try to learn to master my own fear.

Today I’m going to communicate with you about Fear.

I’m going to show you 3 things about fear and finally give you some things you can use to overcome fear in your own lives.

The first thing I want to talk about on the subject of fear is:

Know Thy Enemy.

Many of us think fear is something outside of ourselves. This thing that over takes us like a bobcat overtaking a rabbit running for it’s life. No! Fear is actually our response to certain stimuli. Our brain has a protective defense program so that any time we are around certain stimuli our bodies will feel a physical reaction in order to heighten our response so that we can continue to survive.

Way back in the caveman days the fear program saved many a dwellers lives. What happens is that your heart begins to pound or beat faster as your lungs begin to bellow like steam engines. Adrenaline is released often into the blood stream for that fight or flight response.

This amped up state is what causes our nervousness. This nervousness is merely what is going on within the body. It’s amping itself up to fight or flea.

As a child I often felt this response when I was engaged in one of my many childhood fights. Instead of running away I stood and fought like a demon from hell. From there my brain would enter what I called the red out state. Here I couldn’t feel pain and I became super strong and ferocious.

Many of you feel similar things over approaching a woman. It’s not the woman who is the fear, it’s merely your bodies response to the signal that your brain is sending out.

F-False
E-Evidence
A-Appearing
R-Real

How is that pretty girl over there going to kill you? You need to start asking yourself why is your survival program getting activated just cause of a tiny little female over there. Why? Why would you even think to feel fear over just walking over and making a new friend. Nevermind about all that social cop out crap like social aniety bullshit.

What's really going on? She isn't some huge brawling monster that will eat your skin off just for saying hello. Many times beautiful women are lonely for someone to talk to and would love to talk about their lives.

I ask you again how is that pretty little thing going to kill you in such a way that YOU activate your bodies defense mechanisms for?

Which brings me to the second element of conquering your fear.

LOVE THY ENEMY.

Here is where you need to get comfortable with the feeling of fear. That means learn to get used to feeling your heart start to beat faster and your breathing taking off. The more you get used to it the less it will have it’s devastating effect on you.

I am asking you to court your fear. Fall in love with the element of fear. First of all just begin to recognize the symptoms as you become aware of it’s presence. Then turn your conscious mind to it so that you can begin your final phase of conquering your fear.

CONQUER THINE ENEMY.

When I say conquer it I’m not talking about destroying it. You can’t destroy your brains programmed responses, which is all your truly dealing with. That old survival program that is still running havoc on your love life.

What I’m instruction you to do is to take control and become it’s master. Begin to observe your bodily changes and then just breath and allow yourself to relax for a moment.

In situations where fear is striking you there are several things that you can also do to help no matter what is the object of your fear.

1. Get up and move around. Moving moves energy within your body. It allows the trapped energy of fear to circulate and eventually dissapate.

2. Exercise. I’ve seen fellow instructors doing pushups before walking out to teach a masters class full of top notch instructors.

3. Sing or whistle. This will allow you to get your breathing under control.

4. Think in the here and now. Say to yourself “There is no problem I have to solve at this time.”

5. Think positive. Think about your past successes. Remember when you were successful at approaching or whatever task it is that your afraid of. I do public speaking with an organization called Toast Masters. So far I have won every contest that I’ve entered so when I get a bit nervous about speaking I simply think of this. In the area of approach years ago I would recall how successful I truly am with women and my fear would simply disappear.

6. Imagine for a brief moment being successful at the task. See yourself walking over and saying your opening line. Imagine her being receptive of this also.

7. Tune out negative remarks by others. Nothing can kill your game quicker than a negative wingman. If your saddled with one I would suggest dumping that wing quickly. Negativity doesn’t belong in this game and has no place in YOUR life.

Surround yourself with positive wingmen and positive people in general. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. For years I suffered the negativity of negative folks like my dear old mom and other family members. It took shutting them out of my life for a period of time to get rid of some of the negative seeds they left behind. Negative people are like what I call psychic vampires and they will suck the life out of you. Now I look for positive folks who give off good energy to be around. It’s like being a flower in need of sunshine instead of darkness. Treat your own life the same way.

SO IN CONCLUSION:

Many of you are still plagued by fear of approach. I've read the words of countless so called Playa's who still will bail out on approaching.

You cannot call yourself a Player if you let fear rule your life. Fear is for AFC's. Not Players.

Now that you realize that fear only occurs within you and that there truly isn't any real concrete reason for the reactions, then you should be able to drop all that nonsense by just living within the fear state.

That means put yourself in this state by doing more and more approaches with the intent of conquering your fear.

Don't focus on actually meeting and fucking that hot babe as much as your on a training mission to learn how to control YOU better.

When you take your minds focus off the girl and put it on accomplishing an exercise, you will notice that your fear of women will start to really disappear.

You have given your mind something else to focus on. You are putting your energy into observing YOUR reactions and your state and learning how to master both.

Which takes away the energy of your fear of HER.

You all know about doing the 50. That means walking up to 50 hot chicks and saying one word and then walking away.

That word is hello. Nothing else then walk away.

I have found in working in real life with men with approach anxiety too be a valuable tool for conquering fear.

From that old move your taking "baby steps."

From there you will then be able to to relax and hold a decent conversation with the woman once your fear is under control.

But the only way to get there is to walk into the fire. That means if you truly and I mean TRULY want to conquer your fear, you must approach, no questions asked, no excuses accepted. You must approach 100% of the time, everday all day long until your ability to conquer your fear is in control

You can't half step this process by saying to yourself ok I will approach this girl but not that one. It must be all of them, no excuses.

Either walk the path or get off. When you get mad enough at yourself you will walk the path into the light.

When you get tired of being stuck in who you are right now then you will do it 100%

When you get tired of wacking off over the weekend or having no pretty girls to talk to even as a friend you will do it.

Until you reach this final do or die point.

Be in the most miserable pain you can bring up and then,

Good luck